Hi, I’m Jev.

“Now to him who is able to do
immeasurably
more than all we ask or imagine,
according to his power
that is at work within us,
to him be glory in the church
and in Christ Jesus
throughout all generations,
for ever and ever! Amen.”
Ephesians 3:20-21, NIV

***

If you’re in for some fiction, here goes:
Part 1: A man from the future
Part 2: Two proposals
Part 3: Circumcision

***

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Uuwi na

Then there’s this session road song. Glad that it’s on Spotify.

Uuwi na ‘ko sa atin
Upang ikaw ay makapiling
Wala ng makakapigil
Kailan kaya ito titigil

Kung iisipin mo
Matagal-tagal na rin
Nakalipas ang mga pagkakataong
Ang puso ay nasasabik
Lumilipad ang aking isip
Pagod na ‘ko sa paghihintay

Heto na ‘ko, uuwi na ako
kung saan ko iniwan ang aking puso

Saka lang mapapawi
Luha ‘pag nakauwi
Sawa na ‘ko sa gulo
Kailangan lang ang yakap mo

Kung iisipin mo
Matagal-tagal na rin
Nakalipas ang mga pagkakataong
Ang puso ay nasasabik
Lumilipad ang aking isip
Pagod na ‘ko sa paghihintay

Heto na ‘ko, uuwi na ako
kung saan ko iniwan ang aking puso

Heto na ‘ko, ikaw lang ang hanap ko
Ikaw lang ang hanap ko

Ikaw lang ang hanap ko
Ikaw lang ang hanap ko
Ikaw lang ang hanap ko

Why do you desire to remember, when millions more are dying to forget?

Will tomorrow say that the present hath asked too lame questions concerning the meaning (or meaninglessness) of life? Had we spent too much time on Kdrama rather than better things? How does humanity turn out in this endless series of twists and turns? Secular.

Sorrowful heights of burnout

June 18, 2017. A day that started out right but ended sooo wrong. Spent the entire afternoon and evening weeping. Weeping in anger, sorrow, grief, condemnation, self-pity, and an entire tornado of emotions that just pleaded to be wept. Buhos kung buhos. Nangyayari lang naman to kapag ganun ko kamahal yung tao na involved. In which case, si mama yung kasamaan ko ng loob kahapon. Diretso tulog kagabi at walang hapunan. Mugto mata kaninang umaga tapos lamog katawan sa oversleeping. So I had to feign a leave. Me time. To just lay on the floor the entire day, sleeping, thinking, drawing in-between, and calming myself down.

I did not want to be ungrateful. So I knew I had to just shut up yesterday and resort to crying instead. Yesss. People can and will be ungrateful at several points of their lives. I know a handful of terminably ungrateful brats. But it is not worth it to be ungrateful. Control it when you can. Pessimism creeps in a while but do not let it take over the wheel permanently.

Let us recover and get better and get back to the gruesome battle that is everyday.

6/20/2017: Change is despicable. Change is rarely good, pleasing, and perfect altogether. Change is a gruesome, threatening process involving much cleaning afterwards. My thoughts flowed this way as I rode the PUV’s home. Yung pagbabago ng trends sa workplace, sa benefits, sa job offers, sa retirement, sa traffic na din… and so on and so forth. I guess to engage in any business, the basic commodity still is trust. The products in the catalog will continously evolve to cater to ever changing demands, but the trust in a company is something so precious that you carefully build throughout generations. Sana hindi lang dahil napalitan yung management that runs a business ay magbabago na din yung paano pagkakatiwalaan ang kumpanya. Whether you like it or not, bawat isa sa atin ay nagca-carry ng ‘trust’ ng bawat patron ng business natin. Kahit nasa behind-the-scenes ka pa. Kabilang ka sa kung paano nabubuo yung tiwala na yun. Kasi end-to-end process yan eh. Mula sa kung paano naconceive ng marketing at creative team yung produkto, hanggang sa mabenta ng sales, hanggang sa isupport ng after sales… Konektado tayong lahat sa ayaw at sa gusto natin. A cycle of needing one another and helping one another for survival. 

 

Calcarea

One of the key words of Calcarea is ‘security’ : the most likely source of anxiety for them is anything which threatens their sense of security, whether in terms of the financial security in their life, or even something new in their life which disturbs their daily or weekly routines. They may have any number of fears about security, and will tend to be in the category of emotional eaters. They can tend to carry extra weight, which is a physical representation of clinging to something for a sense of security.
http://arcanum.ca/2012/04/09/homeopathic-constitutional-types-calcarea-carbonicum/

These types, male or female, are generally indolent, inert and sedentary, lacking initiative; like the oyster ever waiting for life to come to them; content and complacent, lethargic and unambitious, not easily aroused or stirred and immovably stubborn.
https://www.britishhomeopathic.org/charity/how-we-can-help/articles/homeopathic-medicines/c/calc-carb/

This lady summed up her situation: “I want to shut myself up in a shell”.
https://www.britishhomeopathic.org/charity/how-we-can-help/articles/homeopathic-medicines/c/calc-carb-2/

Compiling…

5/24/2017
Naalala ko yung panahon na nagpa-interview ako sa PSBank around mid-2015. Yung time na yun, awkward umalis kasi yun yung time na na-lumpo yung team namin. Pero nagpa-interview ako for the intent of “practicing,” but somehow that interview ended up with me discovering some reasons about why I wanted to leave and why I wanted to stay. Somehow sinet nung interview na yun yung utak ko sa “right” frame of mind. I guess I could say the same for the interview this morning. Although hindi purely “practice” ang goals ko, sa tingin ko somehow naisaayos yung pananaw ko sa kung bakit nga ba ako naghahanap ulit, at kung bakit nga ba HINDI ako dapat na naghahanap. I’m not really sure if I can get a call back pero at least the interview served a good purpose, regardless of the outcome. Each job/company has its perks and corresponding pains. Sakaling hindi magbukas ulit ang pintuan ng banking industry para sa akin, susulitin at eenjoyin ko nalang ang pagiging artista ko. Hindi lahat nabibigyan ng pagkakataon na maging celebrity! Hahaha! 😂

5/22/2017
If there is the tiniest grudge in your mind against anyone, your spiritual penetration into the knowledge of God stops.
-Oswald Chambers

5/12/2017
“Who will love you when you’re that ashamed of yourself?”
-Joon Hyung #ep10 💔💔💔

5/10/2017
“In Singapore, there are lots of very well paid employees who have zero life outside of work. For instance, if you’re a lawyer, “good” work-life balance can mean leaving at 7pm or 8pm every day. Poor work-life balance means being at the office till after midnight.
In a 2015 survey, 57% of Singaporeans said they’d pick better work-life balance over higher pay, so there you go.”

5/5/2017
True or False.
Trust comes before Obedience.

5/4/2017
Kaninang umaga, sa jeep na byaheng T.Sora to C.Hall. Sumakay yung dalawang kuya. Si kuya na nagbayad ay nakasuot ng white shirt na may nakasulat sa left side na “Macbeth,” naka maong, naka black cap na may malaking “T” sa harapan at may “Texas” sa left side. May hikaw si kuya. Nagbayad sya ng 20 pesos. Sabi nya, “dalawa po.” Sinuklian sya ni manong ng 10 peso coin and 2 piso. Binalik nya yung 10 pesos and sabi nya, “dalawa po yun.” Feeling ko nalito si manong driver, sinuklian sya ulit ng 4 pesos (thinking na binalik nya yung buong 12 pesos). Ito naman si kuya passenger, nakita ko sa mukha nya na alam nyang sobra yung sinukli sa kanya, pero hindi sya umimik para ibalik yung sobra, sa halip ibinulsa nya na lang. Maliit na bagay ano? Dalawang piso lang naman yun. Isshame ko pa si kuya sa halagang dalawang piso?
Since yesterday lang, nareremind lang din kasi sakin yung issues on “integrity.” Yung sobrang sukli na hindi mo ibinalik. Yung napulot mong celfone na inangkin mo na lang. Yung ballpen sa office na inuwi mo sa bahay. Yung lunchbreak sa office na 1 hour lang pero ginagawa mong 2 hours, at may kasama pang meryenda na 1 hour. Yung hindi pagsasabi ng totoo o ng partial truth kasi “maliit na bagay lang naman.” I don’t aim to shame anyone. Review lang din sa sarili kung saan-saan nga ba nababaluktot ang integrity ko. Sabi nga, if you can’t be trusted with the little things, how can you be trusted with the bigger ones?
#Reflections
#SinsOfOmmission
#HalfHeartedness
#Integrity
#Accountability

4/26/2017
God’s love is no different whether you’re a male, female, gay, single, married, parent, child, black, white, kayumanggi, physically handicapped, rich, poor, sick, healthy, famous, influential, (the list goes on)… after all, we are all sinners. It is not because of who we are that God loves us, rather, it is because of who He is that we abound in his love, mercy and grace.

How do you really measure independence?
in·de·pend·ent
ˌindəˈpendənt/
adjective
1. free from outside control; not depending on another’s authority.
“the study is totally independent of central government”
2. not depending on another for livelihood or subsistence.
“her grown-up, independent children”

4/25/2017
The ME-centric problem.
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/attrition-symptom-disease-why-employee-happiness-should-jaspar-weir?trk=v-feed&lipi=urn%3Ali%3Apage%3Ad_flagship3_feed%3BUeRT0ZNAn2pleHXK9aMtcQ%3D%3D

4/21/2017
Everyone thinks that justice is right at first.
However, what is right is not always the best for the people.
-Premier Kim / Love in the Moonlight

3/17/2017
Homeopathy story for the past two weeks:
*Last week, there was pain in swallowing, extending to ear. Started on the left side of throat / left ear. A few days later it was already felt on the right side, but the left side was more painful. A dose of LACH 200CH gave cure to the left side pain. After the left side was okay, I moves to LAC-C 200CH to cure the right side pain. Everything was okay before and after the Quezon trip.
*This week, I would always have greenish-yellowish phlegm discharge when I woke up in the morning. It accumulated from overnight. At first I tried KALI and PULS (based on the color of the discharge) but it didn’t seem to work. So I observed what specific time it started to get worse — it always came on around 10:00-10:30pm. So I had to base on the time that it was worse, and I gave CHAM 200CH a try. Two doses of CHAM taken yesterday made progress. When I woke up this morning, there was still some green-yellow phlegm but significantly less than previous days. I will continue taking CHAM today to completely resolve the case.

2/27/2017
“There’s another word for teachability: HUMILITY.”
http://www.kevinhalloran.net/characteristics-of-a-teachable-spirit/

2/13/2017
My mom was able to meet and interview one of the listeners from yesterday’s radio guesting earlier this afternoon. Itago na lang natin sya sa pangalan na Nanay Elsa. Nanay Elsa is in her 40’s, diagnosed with “hypothyroidism.” But based on her light built, and from what my mom gathered in the interview, she is supposed to be “HYPERthyroidism” and not hypo. In short, wrong diagnosis. Medyo emotional din yung turnout of her life events leading to her illness. And she was also diagnosed with TB, and napaka disappointing lang nung case nya on TB kasi the doctor put her on an 8-month medication which apparently did nothing to better her illness but rather worsened it. Gumastos ka na nga, lumala pa sakit mo. Nakakalungkot na in a way napagsasamantalahan yung ganitong patients na more or less ay umo-Oo lang sa doktor and hindi kumikibo agad, ang iniisip lang kasi nila is kailangan nilang tapusin yung 8 months, or kung anong timeframe yung binigay sa kanila ng doktor. Isang mahalagang bagay sa homeopathy ang constant communication sa pasyente, kasi in the duration of taking the remedies magbabago at magbabago ang mga sintomas na nararamdaman mo. And then we follow the symptoms as to what should be prescribed next. Hindi sya yung kagaya ng the usual na, “O ito inumin mo to ng isang linggo, isang buwan, isang taon, tapos bumalik ka nalang sa clinic ko by then.” As of last text ni Nanay Elsa kay mama sabi nya daw is gumaan daw pakiramdam nya and luminaw daw ang paningin nya.
Kung pwede lang sanang maabot ng advocacy ng mga magulang ko yung mga nagtext na taga Bohol, Palawan, at kung saan pang mas malalayong lugar… Masarap yung feeling pag nadidinig mo na yung feedback ng pasyente na gumaan at bumuti ang pakiramdam nya. 😊

1/18/2017
The world never runs out of “clever” ways to make us feel that we don’t “belong” — BECAUSE REALLY, WE DON’T. (John 17)
You’re too fat or too skinny, you’re not tall, or you’re too tall, either you want to whiten your skin or you want to darken it just to fit in.
You’re labelled according to race, religion, sexuality, disability, and even age!
All these are device mechanisms for divisiveness saying the same thing — “You’re simply just NOT GOOD ENOUGH.”
I am just glad and relieved that I know where my I rest my heart when challenged and troubled according to the “world’s standards.”
If I have ever raised my standards too high, it is because I find that the world’s is too low.
Romans 12:2 “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”

12/15/2016
Isang maagang pagddrama, pagbabalik-tanaw at pasasalamat sa taong 2016. 🙂
1. (feb) trip to Calaguas with Jovelyn Just Watch ☀🌴🌊
2. (feb) nakumpleto ko yung “The Ride of Your Life” sa small group bago umalis…
3. (mar) transfer to ABS-CBN #Kapamilya #ArtistaDiaries / kuya gelo (my first day at work)
4. (mar) Robbie came into our family 🐶
5. (jun) Papa turned 60 😊🎁🎂🎉
6. (jul) 2nd time to watch Rak of Aegis (1st time was in 2015)
7. (jul) Bataan trip with Jowanni, Anna, Thami, Geevie, Terey
8. (jul) Common Room Kapihan sessions and other trips with te Joy 😁
9. (aug) more time with family and friends – two trips to Masbate in a year 👍
10. (sep) Ako si Josephine – na nagbunga ng mga bagong kaibigan, Maryl and Via 😊
11. (sep) went back to Facebook-ing… reconnected with some good old friends too 😉 Dianne, Quincy, Jamie, Glenn, Jasmin and Ninang…
12. (oct) I turned thirty! 🎁🎂🎉
13. (oct, nov) Theater friends adventures (2nd time to watch ASJ and then saw Coach Lea in Fun Home) – more to come next year! #SaWakas #Wicked #CareDivas
14. a fruitful year of all sorts of artworks! from card making to sketching and attempts at lettering ❤ ❤ ♥ #ARTista #ArtistaGANERN
15. natuto akong gumamit ng lipstick! (yes, achievement po talaga sya on its own! hahaha) 💄😅😂
I guess that if I had to pick just one word to sum up my 2016, "relationships" would be the best to describe it… It was all about strengthening relationships, building new ones, and restoring broken (or lost) ones. ❤ ❤ ♥
Puno ng pag-asa, at matibay ang puso… tara na at salubungin ang 2017! #aja

12/6/2016
KAMATOSE :
n. a state of prolonged deep sleep that usually happens on weekends as a result of severe stress and haggardness that transpired on weekdays;
n. the art of lying perfectly still in bed, staring at the ceiling, pondering about life, and trying to find answers to challenging questions such as, "Why am I still single?" 😂

11/17/2016
If the world were made up of Phosphorus people, everyone would be happy.
If the world were made up of Natrum people, everyone would be sad.
If the world were made up of NuxVom people, everyone would be angry and workaholic.
If the world were made up of Calcarea people, everyone would be at bay (probably enjoying themselves by eating).
If the world were made up of Lycopodium people, everyone would be arrogant.
If the world were made up of Lachesis people, everyone would be jealous.
If the world were made up of Kali people, everyone would be rigid and religious.
If the world were made up of Sulphur people, everyone would start an argument and claim to be right.
If the world were made up of ArsAlb people, there would be order and world peace.
I remember having this conversation with my mom when we went home to the province last August. We were imagining what kind of a world it would've been if there were only one kind of constitution in the world. But God made us diverse because we needed that diversity for survival. Eksakto sa JWAP reminder ni Tere today, about community and good measure of dependency. 😊

11/5/2016
You cannot willingly abuse yourself then resort to homeopathy afterwards. You cannot willingly get drunk, then find a remedy for hangover. You cannot willingly overeat, then find a remedy for bloatedness. You cannot willingly stay late nights then complain of headaches and find a remedy for it.
To the common person reading this, this "Homeopathy" that I've been posting about is a form of "alternative healing." It's not the usual western approach that we all have grown up and become accustomed to.
To us, most especially my mom, this is not just an alternative form of healing that we share, but it is more of a "discipline" or a lifestyle change. You don't willingly abuse yourself; you maintain a state of "balance." I admit I have not successfully transitioned to some vegan sort of diet; I still do eat meat and the usual junk. It is about maintaing a "balance" in your body. Knowing when you can and when you can't. Knowing how much you can and how much you can't. You can't push past your own body's limitations (keeping in mind that each body is unique).
For this reason, it is important for us to not just dispense remedies (hindi lang "nirereseta" yung remedy) and cure patients but we ENGAGE and EDUCATE them as much as possible. They need to have a good understanding of homeopathy and how to put it into use.
It is not unusual for us to get raised eyebrows when we say that a remedy can wake someone up from coma, or that a remedy can actually 'cure' trauma, jealousy, or anger. But YES, Homeopathy can do these things. The 4-months (2015) that I spent to learn about it was definitely one of the best decisions that I made in my life. 😊

10/19/2016
"And unless you are not satisfied with God, you’ll never be satisfied with anything in this world. Waiting is just a means. The endpoint is always God."
https://theloveadvocate.wordpress.com/2016/10/09/the-art-of-waiting-still/

9/28/2016
As we grow older, and hence wiser, we slowly realize that wearing a P1,000 or a P100 watch – – they both tell the same time. Whether we carry a P1,000 or a P100 wallet/handbag – – the amount of money inside is the same. Whether we drink a bottle of P1,000 or P100 wine – – the hangover is the same. Whether the house we live in is 100 or 1,000 sq. ft. – – loneliness is the same.
You will realize, your true inner happiness does not come from the material things of this world.
Therefore, I hope you realize, when you have mates, buddies and old friends, brothers and sisters, who you chat with, laugh with, talk with, have sung songs with, talk about north-south-east-west or heaven and earth – – That is true happiness!!
SIX UNDENIABLE FACTS OF LIFE:
1. Don't educate your children to be rich. Educate them to be Happy. So when they grow up they will know the value of things not the price.
2: Best awarded words: "Eat your food as your medicines. Otherwise you have to eat medicines as your food."
3: The One who loves you will never leave you because even if there are 100 reasons to give up he or she will find one reason to hold on.
4: There is a big difference between a human being and being human. Only a few really understand it.
5. You are loved when you are born. You will be loved when you die. In between, You have to manage!
6: If you just want to Walk Fast, Walk Alone! But if you want to Walk Far, Walk Together!
SIX BEST DOCTORS IN THE WORLD:
1. Sunlight
2. Rest
3. Exercise
4. Diet
5. Self Confidence and
6. Friends
Maintain them in all stages of Life and enjoy a healthy life.
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
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